Saturday, 28 September 2013

Coming to America

I went for a walk along the cliff and whilst I was out I saw Cina (Cina is the Swedish lady with the great body, who I previously called Tina. Ooppss). We had breakfast together (fruit salad as I now on a diet. I have 6 weeks to lose about 5 stone. I might be exaggerating slightly but that’s how it feels). Cina is so lovely. She is one of the most positive people I’ve ever come across. She has her own gym and restaurant in Sweden but is going to sell up and travel the world. I have so much respect for her. It’s also so nice to have proper girly chats. I’m really happy she’s still here.

After breakfast I went for a massage. It is the first one I’ve had since arriving in India and so felt it was fully deserved. In Varkala massages are as cheep as chips. It was £3.50 or 45 minutes or £4 for an hour. I splashed out and went for the hour (get me). I was told to go into the little side room and get naked, which I duly did (any opportunity) and then laid down nervously awaiting the lady. Instead of getting one lady, two arrive!

I shit you not it was the most sexual thing to happen to me ever. So imagine it. I’m completely starkers, two young girls then dribble hot oil all over me and then slowly caress it into my naked body. I’m talking boobs, lady garden, the whole shebang. I embarrassingly found myself making satisfied sex sighs. It was truly heavenly. Whilst one is massaging my hands the other was caressing my buttocks. I felt like Eddie Murphy in Coming to America when he gets bathed by all those chicks.

Just when I think things couldn’t possibly get any better, one of them started to plait my hair. Now if there’s one thing that is going to do it for me it’s someone playing with my hair. At that moment I could have died and I would have felt content with my lot. It was epic.

I came out of there some what dazed and confused, not to mention slightly questioning my sexuality. I saw the guys on the way home and told them all about it. I thought they might but chomping at the bit to get up there and have a massage but it seems even the promise of young chicks writhing over their naked skin is not enough to lure them away from the table. Today they were discussing Stalin! Hot massage or talk about Stalin??? It’s a toughie!

2 comments:

  1. Ha ha! I think you should write a book - 50 shades of Breed!

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  2. Kate,
    I love reading your blog especially when it's a rainy day at work in London! this one left me LOLing!
    Keep it up!
    Chrissie (Cloudys' friend)
    X

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