Knickers

To my delight there was a massive air conditioned shopping mall right near my hotel.  I wasn’t at all excited about the shops themselves as I can’t stand shopping (It’s those weak girl genes of mine) but I was all over the air conditioning.  In fact I stayed there for 4 hours!  They even had a Marks and Spence , which I did get excited about because I am in desperate need of knickers (is this too much information?).  As you can imagine thongs are not something that you can pick up easily in India.  I did once go into a shop in Kerala where I tried to explain to the guy what a thong was but it was all becoming too pornographic for his liking.  He looked utterly terrified so I gave up and left.  Knickerless

3 pairs of knickers in M&S cost the same as a hotel room for the night.  What the fuck is all that about?  I weighed up the options and decided that seeing as I stink already, fresh pants aren’t really going to make a huge amount of difference.  You can’t polish a turd, as they say! 

It appears that they only have one album (Michael Jackson’s Bad), which they play continuously, on a loop in the shopping centre.  I appreciate that it’s a good album but if I hear Liberian Girl one more time I think I might lose the will to live. 

My room was pretty awful but seeing as I was only there for one night I wasn’t too fussed.  Plus I think I have massively lowered my standards since arriving in India.  I wasn’t at all prepared though and didn’t have toilet paper (crap hotels don’t give you toilet paper.  No pun intended), so I had to use the arse shower.  I am pleased to report that it was not only most effective but also quite pleasant..  I may not have clean pants but I have a sparkly clean bum (and there was me concerned that the knicker thing might have been too much information)!