On Saturday I was woken up by a phone call from Clarkey. She was still very drunk from the night before and it made me miss home massively. She said that she had spent the night with Andy and Kate and that they'd made me a welcome home banner. How cute is that? She also told me that I’m very loved. Sometimes it’s just nice to hear it.
I was already beaming from the phone call but then Karin bought me a present. You might not get quite as excited about it as I did when I tell you it was a tube of glue. My Birkenstock’s (they’re sandals, Dad) are on their last legs. They are the most comfortable shoes in the world but the sole is coming away so I keep falling over (even without a drink). Karin had heard me moaning about it (and seen me trip over numerous times) so she bought me a tube of glue to fix them (apparently there was a man in the street with a table full of tubes of glue? I hadn’t realise that the demand for glue was so high in Kollom). I’m always astounded by people’s kindness. I was really touched. It worked too. I have only tripped over once since!
As well as the houseboat we also arranged for a punted canoe trip through the narrow backwaters of Kollom. The back waters are quite possibly the most tranquil, beautiful setting you can imagine. There is wildlife everywhere. David Attenborough would get an instant boner. I was so excited to see my first ever Kingfisher. It is the most majestic bird I have ever seen. When it flies and the sun catches its wings, it is the most beautiful blue colour I’ve ever seen. I was very chuffed with myself. It was only after a few hours that I realised you can’t move for frigging Kingfishers. My rare sighting, all of a sudden, didn’t seem quite as impressive.
Even though it was stunningly beautiful 3 hours is too long. My arse had gone complete gone to sleep and I found that all I was wondering how Charlton were getting on (I should’ve saved myself the worry. They lost. They are officially a shower of shite). My attention span is such that it is almost impossible for me to concentrate on anything for 3 hours in one go. I was happy to finally get off the canoe and (after about 20 minutes) to feel my arse again (annoyingly it’s still big).
I was already beaming from the phone call but then Karin bought me a present. You might not get quite as excited about it as I did when I tell you it was a tube of glue. My Birkenstock’s (they’re sandals, Dad) are on their last legs. They are the most comfortable shoes in the world but the sole is coming away so I keep falling over (even without a drink). Karin had heard me moaning about it (and seen me trip over numerous times) so she bought me a tube of glue to fix them (apparently there was a man in the street with a table full of tubes of glue? I hadn’t realise that the demand for glue was so high in Kollom). I’m always astounded by people’s kindness. I was really touched. It worked too. I have only tripped over once since!
As well as the houseboat we also arranged for a punted canoe trip through the narrow backwaters of Kollom. The back waters are quite possibly the most tranquil, beautiful setting you can imagine. There is wildlife everywhere. David Attenborough would get an instant boner. I was so excited to see my first ever Kingfisher. It is the most majestic bird I have ever seen. When it flies and the sun catches its wings, it is the most beautiful blue colour I’ve ever seen. I was very chuffed with myself. It was only after a few hours that I realised you can’t move for frigging Kingfishers. My rare sighting, all of a sudden, didn’t seem quite as impressive.
Even though it was stunningly beautiful 3 hours is too long. My arse had gone complete gone to sleep and I found that all I was wondering how Charlton were getting on (I should’ve saved myself the worry. They lost. They are officially a shower of shite). My attention span is such that it is almost impossible for me to concentrate on anything for 3 hours in one go. I was happy to finally get off the canoe and (after about 20 minutes) to feel my arse again (annoyingly it’s still big).
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