Egg / Chocolate / Beer

I was planning to go on a hiking tour but I woke up too late (my bed really is that comfortable) so instead I just kicked about in town.  On my travels I met an old man.  He didn’t have a tooth in his head and looked like he hadn’t had a good meal (or wash) in weeks.  He felt the need to show me that he has 6 fingers on one hand.  Well, it was more like the thumb had two fingers nails.  Super freaky.  I wanted to take a picture but I thought that might be seen as slightly insensitive.  Suddenly, without warning, he burst into tears.  I couldn’t really work out why (maybe I just have that effect of men).  I felt really sorry for him so gave him some money to get a coffee.  He then hugged me so hard I thought I might break in two.  I might need to get myself another tetanus jab!

On my way to lunch (I had an egg curry.  I love an egg, me.  My friend Jane once told me that I speak about eggs much more than the average person, so I promise I’ll try to limit my egg conversations to just this one) I thought I would count the homemade chocolate shops (Do you understand why I sometimes question what it is I’m doing here?).  I gave up after about 100.  Every other shop is a chocolate shop.  It’s like the East End with  fried chickens shops.  There really is no need, guys!

I found a place to eat and as normal I was the only person in there.  After about 5 minutes a really young school boy came to sit opposite me.  He could have only been about 8 years old.  The place was really big and there were about 10 spare tables he could have chosen.  The weirdest part is that he didn’t even speak to me.  It was really disarming.  When I smiled at him, he looked at me like I was a nonce.  Funny little fella.

On the way home I saw a beer shop so I got my brave hat on and went inside to order a couple of bottles.  Women just don’t go into these shops (I used to think that they weren’t allowed.  Apparently they are but is just doesn’t happen) so to suddenly have a chick rocking up is probably weird for them.  They didn’t feel the need to hide their amusement.  The blokes inside (customers and staff) were blatantly laughing at me.  They even called people out of the storeroom to come and see the funny western alki girl.  To makes matters worse they then roll the bottles individually in newspaper, to make you feel like a total tramp.    Still the humiliation was worth it.  I got beer! God bless Kingfisher.