I think I mentioned before that I get a bucket of hot water delivered to me every day (I’m so precious). It used to be an old guy that delivered it but it seems that the baton for this particularly chore has been passed on to the younger guy who works here, Unni. I saw Unni out yesterday and he asked if I would help him with his English, one day. I said of course I would (I could hardly say no) so this is how it came to pass that I ended up having one of the oddest dinner dates known to man.
It turns out, over a very awkward meal, that Unni wants me to help him to put status updates on his Facebook page. He told me some of the things that he wanted to write. I am still cringing now. In one of the posts he wanted to say that English men understand what is in his heart. He said that he felt in tune with English men and that he knew that they could understand his soul. What English men has he been meeting? The most scary post though (and believe me I did try to talk him out of it) was yet to come.
Two years ago he had met a couple (English. He seems very partial to the English). They were called Judy and Joe (or something like that). He had gotten along with them really well whilst they were here and he had told them that if he had children he would name them Judy and Joe, accordingly. That in itself is pretty full on and would have put the fear of god in me, but it seems that two years after (with no word from the couple) he is still keen on labouring this point. So, he wanted me to write that what he had said was true and he still felt the same way.
I start to compose this cringy message to the couple, who I can imagine sitting in England reading it, thinking who the hell is the guy. I start the message by writing a greeting but whilst I am doing this he stops me to say that it’s not going to be a message to them but instead e's going to post it on his wall. What?? Do you want to run that past me again? People write some strange shit on Facebook but this has to be one of the creepiest. I tired to explain that this might seem quite weird for the couple when they saw this plastered on his wall but then realised, what do I actually care. It’s really none of my business.
After the Facebook debacle the conversation dried up a bit (my mind was in melt down). To fill time I thanked Unni for bringing me the water each day and asked him how long he had worked at Bamboo Village. Get this, he doesn’t work there!! This man comes from his house each day at the time same time to bring me a bucket of hot water and doesn’t even work here. Shut Up!!! I am now a little bit scared of Unni. He is either the most sincere, simple, kind, naïve man I have ever met or else he is utterly, scarily insane. I genuinely don’t know which.
It turns out, over a very awkward meal, that Unni wants me to help him to put status updates on his Facebook page. He told me some of the things that he wanted to write. I am still cringing now. In one of the posts he wanted to say that English men understand what is in his heart. He said that he felt in tune with English men and that he knew that they could understand his soul. What English men has he been meeting? The most scary post though (and believe me I did try to talk him out of it) was yet to come.
Two years ago he had met a couple (English. He seems very partial to the English). They were called Judy and Joe (or something like that). He had gotten along with them really well whilst they were here and he had told them that if he had children he would name them Judy and Joe, accordingly. That in itself is pretty full on and would have put the fear of god in me, but it seems that two years after (with no word from the couple) he is still keen on labouring this point. So, he wanted me to write that what he had said was true and he still felt the same way.
I start to compose this cringy message to the couple, who I can imagine sitting in England reading it, thinking who the hell is the guy. I start the message by writing a greeting but whilst I am doing this he stops me to say that it’s not going to be a message to them but instead e's going to post it on his wall. What?? Do you want to run that past me again? People write some strange shit on Facebook but this has to be one of the creepiest. I tired to explain that this might seem quite weird for the couple when they saw this plastered on his wall but then realised, what do I actually care. It’s really none of my business.
After the Facebook debacle the conversation dried up a bit (my mind was in melt down). To fill time I thanked Unni for bringing me the water each day and asked him how long he had worked at Bamboo Village. Get this, he doesn’t work there!! This man comes from his house each day at the time same time to bring me a bucket of hot water and doesn’t even work here. Shut Up!!! I am now a little bit scared of Unni. He is either the most sincere, simple, kind, naïve man I have ever met or else he is utterly, scarily insane. I genuinely don’t know which.