I really need to learn to temper my excitement. It seems that it is all very misplaced. I was so excited to get away (from the roof) for the weekend. The boys and I headed off for the ferry, then to the train station to go to Thiruvananthapuram (I know it looks like my keyboard has broken but that really is the name of an actual place).
We had to wait for over 2 hours for the train. Foolishly I thought that this was a hardship. I nearly wept when the train finally rocked up. It was like a travelling urinal. I'm surprised you couldn't get a whiff of it from where ever you are reading this.
Never again will I moan about the Central line. This train will haunt me for the rest of my days. When I say it was packed to the rafters I mean that people were even rammed into the luggage racks. It was funny for about 2 minutes but the thought of standing up for 5 hours filled me with utter terror. After about an hour I thought I was going to pass out so managed to squeeze myself onto the floor. The smell of feet was almost a pleasant change from the rancid smell of piss.
To say that I was uncomfortable was a massive understatement. I didn't think things could get much worse, that was until I was sexually assaulted by a man's toe!! We were all on top of each other so at first when I had a man's foot in my lady garden I didn't pay too much attention. It was only when he started to wiggle it about that I thought that something may be wrong. I gave him the benefit of the doubt for a while (let's face it I'm not going to get any action else where). I tried to move but it was really difficult. I managed to re-position myself but still his toe managed to find a way. I looked up to give him my best death stare, only for him to give me a creepy smile. urrghh!!!
I got up and squeezed myself through a gazillion men to the door (they have the doors open. Health and safety has yet to reach India. I hung out of the door for the rest of the journey. Fear of falling out seemed like a better option than being toe raped!
We had to wait for over 2 hours for the train. Foolishly I thought that this was a hardship. I nearly wept when the train finally rocked up. It was like a travelling urinal. I'm surprised you couldn't get a whiff of it from where ever you are reading this.
Never again will I moan about the Central line. This train will haunt me for the rest of my days. When I say it was packed to the rafters I mean that people were even rammed into the luggage racks. It was funny for about 2 minutes but the thought of standing up for 5 hours filled me with utter terror. After about an hour I thought I was going to pass out so managed to squeeze myself onto the floor. The smell of feet was almost a pleasant change from the rancid smell of piss.
To say that I was uncomfortable was a massive understatement. I didn't think things could get much worse, that was until I was sexually assaulted by a man's toe!! We were all on top of each other so at first when I had a man's foot in my lady garden I didn't pay too much attention. It was only when he started to wiggle it about that I thought that something may be wrong. I gave him the benefit of the doubt for a while (let's face it I'm not going to get any action else where). I tried to move but it was really difficult. I managed to re-position myself but still his toe managed to find a way. I looked up to give him my best death stare, only for him to give me a creepy smile. urrghh!!!
I got up and squeezed myself through a gazillion men to the door (they have the doors open. Health and safety has yet to reach India. I hung out of the door for the rest of the journey. Fear of falling out seemed like a better option than being toe raped!
Oh dear!! I'd love to know your definition of "a while"!!! Seriously though it sounds awful but I love reading about your adventures. I hope this will cheer you up as it features a dog in the starring role (sorry if you have seen it before).
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGeKSiCQkPw