Arse action

Sorry I didn't write yesterday.  I was DYING of a hangover.  My landlord (Indian John) invited me in for beers and brandy (in the same glass??).  I got absolutely shitfaced.  Not my brightest idea as I had to travel miles to go to a girls orphange (I'm like the orphange queen now).  I was feeling pretty ropey before I got there but even worse after I had lunch.

I couldn't face eating anything but how do you say no to a Nun?  The girls were so excited to see me and so happy that someone had come to visit that I didn't have the heart to say that I didn't want to eat with them. When I saw what was being served up I nearly wept.  It was like something out of the film Oliver.  With each mouthful I thought I was going to chuck up.  I had to eat it all though as I didn't want to seem like an ungrateful western (even though I am).   It was quite possibly the hardest 10 minutes of my life.  It was a miracle I managed to keep it down (I was in a house of god after all).

As soon as I got home I was as ill as you like.  The only thing that made me feel better was one of the girls gave me a back massage.  She asked if I minded if she massaged my arse.  Damn straight I don't mind.  It was chuffing amazing.  In lieu of any man action I'll take a young girl from Switzerland caressing my butt.

Life is not so bad after all.