When the alarm when off this morning at 6am I could have wept, but it was all worth it. I've had the best day. Steve picked me up on his bike at 6.30 and drove (really carefully, thank the lord) for about an hour and a half, off to see the elephants.
When we got to the water there was an old man washing in it. He had a little bottle of Pantene and was washing himself like he hadn’t seen water for about a month. He seemed to be relishing the fact that he had a crowd of about 10 westerners watching him wash his bits. I didn’t want to watch but there was something oddly and utterly fascinating about the whole thing. We even got a flash of penis (well it was like a penis, only much smaller) and a bit of arse crack, to boot. Lucky I hadn’t already had breakfast!
After a short wait Steve said that the elephants were late. It really made me laugh, as in my experience elephants are generally sticklers for time. The elephants eventually rocked up (with no apology for their tardiness). As soon as they arrived so did the monsoon rains. I had no umbrella (or camera. I would like to remind you at this point that I had to leave my homestay at 6.30AM!!! I was barely awake, let alone capable of collecting my belongings) so I shared an umbrella with a western bloke, who had worse pants on than me (honestly). It turned out he was a neuro-scientist. He is trying to cure alzheimers. How cool is that? I felt massively inadequate explaining that I used to work for an insurance firm. I was tempted to make something up but it was too early in the day. I could barely string a sentence together.
The blokes in charge of the elephants appear to be really mean to them. There’s a lot of shouting and poking with sticks. It’s an accident waiting to happen. One day dear old Dumbo is going to go rouge and kill the lot of them, thus why I declined getting up close and personal with them. The elephants looked pretty pissed off so I decided to stay back and watch from a safe distance. As beautiful as they are, there is only so much washing of an animal I can watch so Steve and I chipped off to get an egg curry for breakfast (as you do) and then went to the beach.
Steve said we should go in the sea (even though it looked like the Thames on a good day) and then almost immediately did the cliché splashing of water thing before diving in for a kiss. It was a little bit gringy but not unwelcome. We then went and sat on the rocks (covered in shit from the sea) where he put his arm around me. I did feel about 12 years old at this stage but it was sweet. In fairness Steve is probably not much older than about 12 himself, so that could have had something to do with it. It’s all very Shirley Valentine but fuck it no-ones going to find out (Oh, other than you lot).
When we got to the water there was an old man washing in it. He had a little bottle of Pantene and was washing himself like he hadn’t seen water for about a month. He seemed to be relishing the fact that he had a crowd of about 10 westerners watching him wash his bits. I didn’t want to watch but there was something oddly and utterly fascinating about the whole thing. We even got a flash of penis (well it was like a penis, only much smaller) and a bit of arse crack, to boot. Lucky I hadn’t already had breakfast!
After a short wait Steve said that the elephants were late. It really made me laugh, as in my experience elephants are generally sticklers for time. The elephants eventually rocked up (with no apology for their tardiness). As soon as they arrived so did the monsoon rains. I had no umbrella (or camera. I would like to remind you at this point that I had to leave my homestay at 6.30AM!!! I was barely awake, let alone capable of collecting my belongings) so I shared an umbrella with a western bloke, who had worse pants on than me (honestly). It turned out he was a neuro-scientist. He is trying to cure alzheimers. How cool is that? I felt massively inadequate explaining that I used to work for an insurance firm. I was tempted to make something up but it was too early in the day. I could barely string a sentence together.
The blokes in charge of the elephants appear to be really mean to them. There’s a lot of shouting and poking with sticks. It’s an accident waiting to happen. One day dear old Dumbo is going to go rouge and kill the lot of them, thus why I declined getting up close and personal with them. The elephants looked pretty pissed off so I decided to stay back and watch from a safe distance. As beautiful as they are, there is only so much washing of an animal I can watch so Steve and I chipped off to get an egg curry for breakfast (as you do) and then went to the beach.
Steve said we should go in the sea (even though it looked like the Thames on a good day) and then almost immediately did the cliché splashing of water thing before diving in for a kiss. It was a little bit gringy but not unwelcome. We then went and sat on the rocks (covered in shit from the sea) where he put his arm around me. I did feel about 12 years old at this stage but it was sweet. In fairness Steve is probably not much older than about 12 himself, so that could have had something to do with it. It’s all very Shirley Valentine but fuck it no-ones going to find out (Oh, other than you lot).
I don't get washing elephants in a monsoon! Isn't that a bit of a waste of time? However if there are enough elephants over there needing washed (regardless of current weather conditions) could you install a car-wash type of facility but for elephants? I bet they'd love it! It could be a great business idea! The "white lady elephant wash" and you wouldn't have to touch them - just press a button or two and stand well back!
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