I arrived
at 7am to Bangalore city station feeling absolutely knackered. All I
wanted was to find a nice place to stay for
a couple of days so that I could finally get some sleep. I arrived to utter
chaos. This was my first experience of a
big city and I didn’t like it one little bit.
If you want to feel like a freak then you should go to an Indian city in
the middle of monsoon season. People
either look at you like you have 5 heads (there must be a god with 5
heads. There’s about a million of ‘em)
or they become worryingly excitable and feel the need to come and talk to you.
I was
desperate to get rid of my rucksack as I felt like a sweaty, overweight, tortoise carrying that fucking thing about.
In my head, this mid life crisis was going to be a whole lot more
glamorous. In reality I smell, look like
a bag of shite and haven’t the first clue what i’m playing at.
I only had
about 100 rupees on me, so went out to get money. After trying, unsuccessfully to get money out
at 5 different ATM’s (I’m nothing if not persistent), I realised that there was
a problem with my card (there’s no flies on me!). It’s fair to say that at that moment I wanted
the world to stop so that I could just get off.
I was close to having a full on breakdown. I couldn’t have wanted to get out of a place more. To say that I felt hopeless and shit scared
would be putting it mildly. The thought
of sleeping rough in India
isn’t something I want to think about too much.
After 5
hours of sitting on the floor in a train station (having almost lost the will
to live), with people, taking pictures of me, wanting to take me to various
places (including an offer from an old boy, who must have been pushing 90,
wanting to take me horse racing), trying to sell me things, or wanting me to
sponsor tigers/people/tea plantations, Barclays finally pulled their finger out
of their arse and sorted things out. Hallefuckinglujah.
I still had
over 6 hours before my train to Mysore arrived
and now with money in my hand I was able to go to Cubbon Park . This was the only place the girls on the
train had said was worth seeing. I didn’t
really care what it was like, I was just grateful to be out of the train
station. There’s no such thing as peace
and quiet though in India . It wears you down. Sometimes it would be nice if everyone just
fucked right off! I know I sound mean
but it really is relentless.
Two hours
in the park, feeding the squirrels calmed me down and let me get things back
into perspective. I felt really grateful
that everything had sorted itself out and actually felt relatively happy. With my new found enthusiasm for life I
decided to go to the Government run aquarium (it’s a non stop roller coaster of
fun, this travelling lark). Alarm bells
really should have started ringing when I was asked for an entrance fee of 5
rupees. Now, if you’re paying about 6p
for to see something, I’m guessing its always going to be a little bit
shite. This aquarium did not break that
rule. It was so bad that I actually loved it a
little bit. It honestly took about 35
seconds to walk around. The star
attraction was some googly eyed goldfish.
God bless the Indian Government Aquarium.
Here’s a
bit of travel advice. Don’t go to Bangalore .
I think your readers should sponser you for your encourgement via western union .co.uk and send money to you. What do you think?
ReplyDeleteIt is a simple wire transfer. Deposit money at any Western Union office, fill out the paperwork, and the money is immediately (within seconds) available at any Western Union representative worldwide. I have used them hundreds of times without a problem. You can also transfer money online by using a credit card. www.westernunion.co.uk just need your full name on your passport. this will sort out the ATM issues you keep having
you should go to
ReplyDelete1) Jiva Spa, Vivanta by Taj MG Road Bangalore it is lovely in there and try the ice bar in there
Now, if you want to get pissed in style:
1) Sky Lounge
Sky Lounge lives up to its name in every single way with an 8,000 sqft open air lounge, great music and a bar right in the middle of it all. There’s nothing quite like watching the shimmering lights of the city melt away into the Bangalore breeze as the music serenades the darkness of the night.
16th Floor, UB City, #23, Vittal Mallya Road, Phone: 080-49090000, 9900343204
2) SPHAIRA, MG Road 80/1, Shringar Complex, M.G Road, MG Road, Bangalore
Sphaira is the new nightlife joint to hit MG Road in Bangalore. Enjoy Salsa Nights, Electro Nights, as well as Ladies Nights.
3) Enigma Pub, Koramangala No.2, 100 Feet Road, 5th Block, Koramangala, Bangalore
4) Tandoor, MG Road 28, Centenary Building, MG Road, Bangalore
5) Coconut Grove, MG Road 86, Spencer Building, Church Street, MG Road, Bangalore