We arrived in Trivandrum station, then got a tuk tuk down to the first hotel. The idea was that we looked at all 3 in the short list and then made a (sensible) decision. Who was I kidding? We started at the poshest one (of course). As soon as a golf buddy arrived to collect us from the gate, to drive us through the grounds to the reception I was sold. You had me at golf buggy! We then rock up to the grandest entrance to a hotel I have ever seen. It was ridiculously opulent. It’s the sort of place that you see on TV and films but never imagine being able to stay in. Well guess what? The girl did good. I get to stay!
The receptionist was the most professional person I have met in India. Fish and I (more so me than Fish) look like we can barely afford a rice dish let alone a night in this hotel but she treated us like we were royalty. Bless her little cotton socks. She showed us the room and I was like a kid on Christmas day. I know you’re probably not meant to be so openly excited but it was hard to hold it in (I was so far removed from cool it wasn’t even funny). This place is the most beautiful place I will ever stay in ever. I was almost hyperventilating.
She then takes us back to the reception desk and within seconds a bloke is giving us coconuts to drink from and a lady presents us each with a necklace made of shells and puts a bindi on our foreheads for good luck. This place is fucking amazing. Fish then says that he will pay the extra so that we can stay another night. I am now on the verge of collapse. The only thing that nearly burst my bubble was the fact that after paying nearly £200 a night they wanted to charge £7.50 for wi fi. Greedy robbing bastards. I decided to live without wi fi for 2 days (it nearly killed me).
When we got in the room I immediately checked out all the free stuff. Boy, this stuff if top drawer (I can now barely lift my back pack). I am still sporting the snazzy slippers as we speak (they are my new favourite thing in the world). Even though it was the middle of the day I immediately donned the bath robe. it must have weighed about 2 stone. Check this out; they even have a pillow menu. I shit you not. There are about 12 different varieties to choose from. They even have a smoker’s pillow. Not sure what that’s all about. Maybe it has a pocket for your fags and lighter or maybe it has a mini fire extinguishers attached? Fish and I should have got one as we are smoking like beagles.
If I thought the place that Fish booked was posh, this one just takes the piss. Everything was perfect. The room was enormous. The shower could have fit about 6 people (if you’re that way inclined). Everything was just utterly amazing. I felt like the luckiest girl alive. Boys, I will never ever forget this. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. You turned Eliza Dolittle into a lady (if only for two days). Check out the link.http://www.theleela.com/locations/kovalam/rooms-and-suites
The receptionist was the most professional person I have met in India. Fish and I (more so me than Fish) look like we can barely afford a rice dish let alone a night in this hotel but she treated us like we were royalty. Bless her little cotton socks. She showed us the room and I was like a kid on Christmas day. I know you’re probably not meant to be so openly excited but it was hard to hold it in (I was so far removed from cool it wasn’t even funny). This place is the most beautiful place I will ever stay in ever. I was almost hyperventilating.
She then takes us back to the reception desk and within seconds a bloke is giving us coconuts to drink from and a lady presents us each with a necklace made of shells and puts a bindi on our foreheads for good luck. This place is fucking amazing. Fish then says that he will pay the extra so that we can stay another night. I am now on the verge of collapse. The only thing that nearly burst my bubble was the fact that after paying nearly £200 a night they wanted to charge £7.50 for wi fi. Greedy robbing bastards. I decided to live without wi fi for 2 days (it nearly killed me).
When we got in the room I immediately checked out all the free stuff. Boy, this stuff if top drawer (I can now barely lift my back pack). I am still sporting the snazzy slippers as we speak (they are my new favourite thing in the world). Even though it was the middle of the day I immediately donned the bath robe. it must have weighed about 2 stone. Check this out; they even have a pillow menu. I shit you not. There are about 12 different varieties to choose from. They even have a smoker’s pillow. Not sure what that’s all about. Maybe it has a pocket for your fags and lighter or maybe it has a mini fire extinguishers attached? Fish and I should have got one as we are smoking like beagles.
If I thought the place that Fish booked was posh, this one just takes the piss. Everything was perfect. The room was enormous. The shower could have fit about 6 people (if you’re that way inclined). Everything was just utterly amazing. I felt like the luckiest girl alive. Boys, I will never ever forget this. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. You turned Eliza Dolittle into a lady (if only for two days). Check out the link.http://www.theleela.com/locations/kovalam/rooms-and-suites
hahahahahaha smoking like beagles-genius
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