It's magic

Fish and I arranged to meet in Ernakulam on Tuesday. It was a nice feeling to know that this would be my last ever train journey in India. Not that it made the experience any the more enjoyable. I had reserved a seat but when I got there, there was a man sitting in my chair. I asked him to move and showed him my reservation ticket but it made no difference. He wasn’t budging. If this was a few months ago I would have probably been too nervous to kick off but India has made me as hard as nails so at one point I was even considering dragging the scrawny little fucker off the chair personally but luckily enough another bloke came along and saved the day. I got my seat and no blood was spilt. Phew.

6 bloody hours later I got to the hotel to meet Fish. It was only a couple of days but it was still lovely to see him. My happiness soon disappeared though when he told me that on his way back from Mysore he had seen a tiger. How bloody jealous am I. I have been in this sodding place for 3 (very long) months without a sniff of a tiger. I was also the only person not to see a dolphin in Varkala. I have though seen enough elephants to last me a life time. Do you think seeing 50 elephants equates to 1 tiger? Also I still have my top trump card of once seeing a gorilla (when I travelled around East Africa) so surely that has to beat tiger? Now that I think about it who do you think would win in a fight between a tiger and a gorilla?   Answers on a postcard to Kate (possibly has too much time on her hands) Breed.

We popped back to Cohin the next day (just to get some wi-fi). We went to a place called The Pepper House. It was like a small haven of tranquillity in the middle of a world of craziness. We sat in the garden overlooking the ocean. It was so peaceful. That is until the young waiter came over to tell us riddles and show us magic tricks. I HATE any form of magic. Just by virtue of the fact that It’s not bloody magic. Unless you’re actually Gandalf the Grey I am not remotely interested.

He had obviously only just started to learn “magic” as it was more painful than normal to watch. He asked Fish to pick a card. He then made 6 piles of cards and asked Fish to point to the pile his card was in. This process went on until eventually (after what felt like a couple of weeks) he produces the card which Fish picked. Even I knew what frigging card it was. Fish is so cute though and was kind enough to put on a shocked 'how did you do that' face. Matey was beaming like he had just produced a live rabbit from a hat. The Harry Potter films have a lot to answer for.

We asked little Potter to organise a taxi to take us to Munnar. As with everything in India it wasn’t straight forward. A bloke arrived, so I started to get my stuff together only for him to say that he was just delivering a message from another bloke would come to take us there but he is going to be a while as he is packing his overnight stuff. What? About 2 hours later (and after more shit magic tricks that no one should have to endure) a very sensible man arrived to take us up the mountains to Munnar. I can’t say I was looking forward to the 5 hours car journey but by this stage I would have pretty much given anything to get away from young Potter.  Peace at last.